15 Comments
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Mind of Matt's avatar

Very nicely done. It’s so atmospheric. I’ve never thought of a sand storm essentially being like flying sandpaper. It does not sound pleasant. Looking forward to the second course.

Walt Shuler's avatar

Thanks, Matt! Sandstorms can be wild. I have vague memories of being in one when I was 4 in Sudan.

P.G. Sundling's avatar

Sandstorms are definitely memorable. I went to a wedding at Burning Man in the middle of one.

Walt Shuler's avatar

Definitely sounds like an experience you won’t forget.

Ed the Editor's avatar

Ooh, great start. Deep western vibes. Lots of great word choices. Stuck in a mission during a sandstorm talking about a sheriff’s past—can you get more western? I feel Noah’s name was a biblical choice.

Walt Shuler's avatar

Good spot with the Noah thing :) There are a few other references/parallels throughout in addition to the eating motif. Glad you got a chance to start reading it!

MA Knight's avatar

Love a guy who talks to his donkey. This is very immersive, excited to read the rest!

Walt Shuler's avatar

John loves a good conversation, even when his only option is a real ass 🥁

MA Knight's avatar

Nice

Eric O'Neal's avatar

I don't know where this story is going, and that's what I like about it. Got that flair of mystery with a hint of danger. Also, the prose gives me that classic western adventure feel.

Walt Shuler's avatar

Woo! That’s exactly what I was going for.

RM Greta's avatar

I am so into this. My imagination was immediately hooked with the characters and dialogue and setting.

I love Noah for a donkey name. Great beginning with the two of them bickering and very much enjoy the lead into meeting Kit Caine.

I kept feeling there was something ominous waiting around every corner and it really helped with the unfolding mystery before us.

Awesome! Glad we finally get to dive into this project!

Walt Shuler's avatar

I really enjoyed writing this whole thing. Noah and John just sort of appeared and it was so cool. It almost wrote itself, except for the ending. I’m glad you’re digging it and that the ominous feel came through. Thank you for reading! I hope you’ll like the rest of the courses!

Nathan Hatch's avatar

Enjoyed this as a start, Walt. I am intrigued to see where it goes. The whole Dust Bowl/Donkey/Papist stuff is giving me Nick Cave "The Carny" flavor.

Walt Shuler's avatar

Thanks, man. Nick Cave is a great place to go with this. Or maybe Tom Waits.